So many thoughts running through my mind right now. I’m sure all of us have met someone or have been introduced to someone by a friend that is absolutely wonderful but for some reason you don’t feel a connection or any type of attraction. Then you may question yourself as to why you don’t feel anything and if you go back to your core and say well love is not a feeling it’s a commitment and then you may be confused.
People choose to date a particular person initially because there is some sort of an attraction there whether it be their outgoing personality, how they encourage others, how they take care of themselves, etc. Then you find out about the commonalities, interests, etc. and a friendship begins to unfold. We all know that a relationship will not succeed by on how someone looks and how that person may make you feel at that particular time, but I personally believe there has to be some sort of chemistry. Look at it this way for couples that are already married. Did you go through your courtship and eventually your wedding day thinking this person is wonderful but I just don’t feel attracted to them? If you did and you married them anyway I feel sorry for your spouse. Weren’t your feelings more like I am the luckiest man or woman in the world because this person has chosen me and I have chosen them?
People choose to date a particular person initially because there is some sort of an attraction there whether it be their outgoing personality, how they encourage others, how they take care of themselves, etc. Then you find out about the commonalities, interests, etc. and a friendship begins to unfold. We all know that a relationship will not succeed by on how someone looks and how that person may make you feel at that particular time, but I personally believe there has to be some sort of chemistry. Look at it this way for couples that are already married. Did you go through your courtship and eventually your wedding day thinking this person is wonderful but I just don’t feel attracted to them? If you did and you married them anyway I feel sorry for your spouse. Weren’t your feelings more like I am the luckiest man or woman in the world because this person has chosen me and I have chosen them?
Any relationship has ups and downs and you may feel that you’re not ‘in love’ anymore. This is where the love is not a feeling it’s a commitment comes in. You chose to commit to that person for better or worse and because of that you choose to stay in the relationship because even though you may not ‘FEEL’ like you love that person you CHOSE to love them. It’s not a matter of thinking you’re stuck like some of society looks at it. It’s an opportunity for growth to happen, to look at the relationship from all angles to see how better communication and expressions of love can happen. Look at that beautiful person in front of you and ask them 'What can I do to contribute to your life, dreams, goals and our marriage?'. Have a servant heart and see what will happen!
If you’re asking, well Robin, how would you know, you’ve never been married. You’re right. But in my 42 years of living, I have loved and lost though. I was the top student in my Marriage and Family class in high school my senior year and I went on to get a B.S. in Family Studies & Gerontology. I’ve read numerous books on relationships and even used to lead a video series by Tommy Nelson out of Denton Bible called the Song of Solomon. After awhile I chose to not lead the study anymore because none of my relationships succeeded.
At this point in my life, I look at it this way. I have dating/life experience. If someone can learn from what I share or realize that they are not alone, then it's a blessing for my voice to be heard. I know what it’s like to: like someone else and know you have so much in common and they’re simply not attracted to you, to be rejected when they find out you can only walk 1 ¾ laps around a track before you start to waddle and then just can’t walk even though it was over a year after your 2nd car accident, to have a guy not understand that you have to take your medication at a certain time and be in bed at a certain time so that you’re not in pain the entire following day, to be pursued only because of what you look like on the outside and not even trying to bother to get to know the woman from within, to have a high school coach pursue you for several years and get fired because of you & then have the majority of the high school turn on you because he was such a popular teacher & coach, to be physically/verbally/mentally abused by a man that claimed to be a Christian, to be pursued and then to withdraw to pursue to withdraw, etc., and lastly I’ve been told that real love doesn’t exist and relationships never work so just live in the moment.
WOW! Is that a lot of ‘Story’ or what? Yes, but it’s my story and because of my story I have been able to help others along the way because of experiences, and I have now chosen to share more about it because I believe when hurting people hear or see your life experiences they are more apt to open up and realize they are not alone. I grew up in a loving family and a wonderful church family but when things like the above are happening people including myself choose not to share and ultimately feel alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE & DO NOT BE AFRAID OR ASHAMED TO SEEK HELP!
Timing. I am happy to say that I am in great health and that I can walk further than I have in years after my hip surgery a year ago in March. I'm still not where I desire to be physically but continue to see great progress. I started my training with Klemmer & Associates (The Premier Leadership & Character Development Company – www.klemmer.com) last August & attended ‘Heart of the Samurai in October. Yesterday I mailed my final requirements for my National Board Certification in Reflexology and yesterday I started my blog. J Today, I will post this note. Today I commit to continue moving forward in my life to achieve the desires of my heart.
Chemistry will look & feel differently for everyone as we are all different and unique ourselves. What one person may find attractive, another person may not and you know what, that’s ok…
Much Love,
Robin
Below are some pictures I wanted to share. The first one is June of 2006 when I went to see my very good friend Tara in Victoria, BC. This was 15 months after her car accident & 10 months after mine. We have been a great support to each other over the years! The 2nd picture was taken in June 2008 by another good friend of mine, Steve Pisano. He did a photo shoot for me to celebrate my turning 40! The last picture is from October of 2010 just 7 days after returning from Heart. I've come a long way in my progress since the 2006 picture!
Below are some pictures I wanted to share. The first one is June of 2006 when I went to see my very good friend Tara in Victoria, BC. This was 15 months after her car accident & 10 months after mine. We have been a great support to each other over the years! The 2nd picture was taken in June 2008 by another good friend of mine, Steve Pisano. He did a photo shoot for me to celebrate my turning 40! The last picture is from October of 2010 just 7 days after returning from Heart. I've come a long way in my progress since the 2006 picture!
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